My Grandpa

Today started off pretty busy. My mom and I went to get oil changes for our cars and then I had to go get a gift from a friend of the family. My uncle called this morning to let us know that my grandpa probably wouldn't make it through the night tonight. I wanted to go see him but I had so much stuff to do so I figured I would go see him when I got my errands finished. We'd gotten a couple calls like this before so I wasn't in too much of a hurry to get to the nursing home.

So I went to pick up the gift and headed to Starbucks with Kat, Carter, and Ezra. We exchanged gifts and had a great time. I love Ezra to pieces and of course it's always great seeing Kat and Carter. After I went to Starbucks I went to Safeway to pick up some groceries and then headed home.

So I get home and I told my mom and brother about the great time I had, that I had mom's gift ready for her and showed them pictures of Ezra. They both had a strange look on their faces and I wondered if they were holding the news back but figured that they would have told me right when I come home. So I'm sitting at the dining room table flipping through the pictures of Ezra again and my mom's on the phone with a friend and I heard her say, "my dad passed away today." I looked up at them both and said, "What?! You didn't tell me that!" and completely broke down. My immediate reaction was that I should have gone to see him but I think I'm over that now. I don't know. I feel like I'm in a fog.

Thankfully, my grandma was right there by his side. My mom, her brother, and my aunt had seen him before he died but had decided to give my grandma some time alone with him. When my uncle and the rest of them went back into the room he noticed my grandpa wasn't breathing. He died in his sleep without suffering. My grandma hadn't even noticed he was gone. My mom said my grandma was so sweet. When she left to go home, she patted him on the head and gave him a kiss.

Anyway, it was so like my grandpa not to die on Christmas day. Even though he wasn't there, I'm sure in some way, he had a hand in making sure it happened before tomorrow. We went to see him last night and I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't wake up. Now I will never forget how he felt and I am glad I went to see him last night.

Our last semi-conversation (it's been difficult to talk to him since he's been in the last stage of Alzheimer's) I'll never forget. Usually he'd just give you a yes or no answer and I'm not sure even knew what he was saying yes or no about. He was so cute. I said, "I love you daddy!" (that's what I called him growing up since my dad wasn't in my life) and he replied, "Well, that's up to you."

Yes, it is up to me and I loved him with all my heart.